A few weeks ago, I stumbled across an article about a topic I had never heard of before: döstädning, a Swedish word meaning “death cleaning.” I ended up reading several different articles to find out what it was all about, and essentially, Swedish death cleaning is the practice of paring down and organizing your belongings before you die.
After my father passed a few years ago, my siblings and I helped our mother go through a lot of his possessions, and deciding what to keep and what to throw out was an emotionally draining process for all of us. One of the advantages of Swedish death cleaning is that it makes that decision process easier for your family after you pass away, so I knew this was something I wanted to do for my own kids’ sake.
Thinking about our own mortality is never fun, but the fact of the matter is that we’re all going to die someday. The practice of Swedish death cleaning can help you feel more prepared for that eventuality, and knowing that your family will have an easier time dealing with your possessions after you go can give you peace of mind as well!
Here are a few basic tips for getting started with Swedish death cleaning.
Swedish Death Cleaning: 11 Helpful Tips For Beginners
1. Ask Yourself The Guiding Question
According to Margareta Magnusson, the author of the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, there’s one simple question that should guide you as you sort through your things: “Will anyone be happier if I save this?” It will help keep you on track as you start to make decisions about what is worth keeping and what you could toss out.
2. Don’t Start With Photos
As you start sorting through your possessions and keepsakes, it’s best to steer clear of your photo albums. Photos are a minefield of emotions and memories, and you’re likely to get sidetracked. Stick to less emotional territory at first.
3. Tackle Your Closet
Instead of veering down Memory Lane with photos, start by clearing out your closet. Sort through all of your clothes and set aside anything you don’t wear regularly.
Then when you’re done, bag those clothes up and donate them, if possible. Make sure to repeat this process on a semi-regular basis so unworn clothes don’t pile up again.
4. Consider Re-Gifting
A lot of us have plenty of books, knick-knacks, and other items we don’t necessarily need. Giving those things away can be an easy way to cut back on clutter! For example, giving a cherished book to a friend can make a really meaningful gift, and help you downsize at the same time.
5. Make Memories Manageable
When you’re ready to tackle photos, journals, and other items, find ways to downsize. There are plenty of services that can help you digitize old photos and videos! As far as keeping material keepsakes, try to limit yourself to one box or container.
6. Make It A Party
Another way to quickly downsize on your possessions is to throw a party of sorts! Invite your friends and family over to go through your unwanted stuff to see if there’s anything they’d like to have before you donate or toss it. (This is generally nicer than forcing your unwanted items on uninterested family members.) :-)
7. Involve Others
An important part of Swedish death cleaning is communicating your wishes to your friends or family. It’s a good idea to let at least one person know where you want your treasured items to go. It’s also a good idea to inform someone of your login details for banks and utilities, which can be notoriously hard to find after someone has passed away.
8. Start Early
Margareta Magnusson suggests that 65 is a good time to start death cleaning, but you can start thinking about it earlier than that. If you have any hoarder-type tendencies, you may want to get those in check well before you start the actual death cleaning process.
In any case, it’s a good idea to get started sooner rather than later, because the older you get the less likely you are to do it. It’s demanding work, after all!
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9. Keep At It
Swedish death cleaning should be seen as a process, not a “one and done” purge. You’ll need to continually keep tabs on yourself to make sure you’re not accumulating more stuff as time goes on.
10. Treat Yourself
Death cleaning can be hard, emotional work, so make sure to reward yourself for doing it! Take yourself out to dinner or go get a massage. (Try not to reward yourself with a physical item, since the purpose of Swedish death cleaning is to get rid of unnecessary items.)
11. Keep A Box For Yourself
Some items are going to be important to you, and only you. And that’s okay! Keep those personal items in a box with instructions to toss it out after you’ve passed. This is a good place for things like stuffed animals, travel keepsakes, and other items your children might not want to keep.
Do you have any tips for paring back your possessions later in life?
I inherited a lot of historic family pictures and documents after my late aunt passed in 2012, and in the years since I began wondering what I’d do with it once I’m gone. Alas, two family members who had expressed interest in our family tree both passed away, but another family member has been asking me questions about our family tree in recent years, so I’ve been thinking about leaving all my family pictures, etc. to him. I also have a lot of journals since I’ve been an avid journaler since 1980, but I’ve already told my husband to just throw them out if I go first.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Great article. Since I had to clean out my parent’s home when my Dad died (Mom passed 9 years before him), it was an arduous task. Thank goodness I had a friend to help me. I am sure there were some items I might like to have kept but it was going to be adding to my mountain of stuff. I still have a few boxes from their house in the basement and I am just going to purge. The hardest thing I did was tossing my Mother’s wedding dress. It was yellow, and torn (Dad stepped on it while dancing on their wedding day). I had to pick a few things to keep – and not another house full! I recommend doing this and I will start this year at age 63.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I started going through and getting rid of paperwork, my closet, and other areas when we retired 6 years ago. Unfortunately, my husband refused to let me go through his closet and he wasn’t physically able to for health reasons. November 30th, he passed away unexpectantly. His health had improved so much in the last 3 years, that we had put off getting things in order, just in case. I had started, but barely. I am now faced with not only his stuff but his family stuff on top of my own. I encourage everyone do it all early before you HAVE to, keep it updated, look ahead, it can and does happen when you least expect it. I have a long way to go but one day at a time one step at a time.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Being older, my wife and I started some time ago cleaning out things we no longer wanted or needed. At that time I was donating it to Goodwill, but then Goodwill started getting greedy with their prices in their store. I then discovered that there is a Veterans Brigade store in the town just north of us, where anyone can donate unwanted clothing, footwear, books, knick Knacks, books, etc., but only veterans and their immediate family can “shop” at for free. This had done wonders for cleaning out things that we had that were simply taking up space and would never be used or worn again in the future. As a side note, beware of those donation boxes you see in parking lots that are supposedly going to local charities or churches. Most of them are actually set out by companies that then sort through the donations, keep the good stuff to resell, and then just trash the remainder.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.When my Mom was in her 60’s she decided to sell ALL of her jewelry and split the cash up among us daughters. This way there wouldn’t be arguing about who gets what. Everything else she owned was clothes/hats which she wanted to be donated to a woman’s shelter.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Some good things to store in the “Throw Away When I’m Dead” bin mjght be photos taken during your early married days that only you and your husband should see. “Toys” that only you two use would be another one for that bin. You might also include a note to your kids that they probably souldn’t even look before discarding the whole bin. (No, I’m not a nasty girl, but I do remember what it was like to be in a fun-loving relationship.)
Please log in or create a free account to comment.By the time my parents passed, their home looked rather spartan since they had been paring down for years. Tasked with clearing out their home after they died, my bros still found and grumbled about all the “junk”. So I guess one person’s essential is an other’s junk.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.When my grandmother turned 70, she figured she would probably not live more than another 10 years or so. She started asking everyone in the family if there was anything they would like to have after she passed away. She started putting names on things – pieces of paper taped to the backs of pictures hanging on the walls, pieces of masking tape with names on the bottoms of furniture, a name written on a business card and dropped inside a vase – anything to identify the next “owner.” This went on for 15 years, until my grandfather passed away and my grandmother decided to downsize. First, she identified all the things she wanted to take with her to the new house. Then the remainder of possessions were sorted into piles for each family member. We all came and took what we wanted out of our pile, and once that was done, anything left was up for grabs. After the “free” round, the rest went to a garage sale or charity.
My grandmother repeated this process two more times before she died at 100. By the time she died, there were only about a dozen items left from her personal collection to be distributed, and there were never any hard feelings or arguments over who got what. By doing the “sorting” ahead of time, she got to enjoy having her things still around her, but there was no angst in the end for the rest of the family. I am in my 50s, but I already have some names on things . . .
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This article had me thinking of the Funeral Potatoes recipe you have shared. LOL
Please log in or create a free account to comment./ I highly recommend the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter by Margareta Magnusson. It’s short and sweet, and is a chronicle of the author’s experience in disposing of her parents’ possessions, and later, her husband’s.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My maternal grandmother (depression era) saved everything… to excess. When she passed it was many many days of sorting and tossing. Grandma had a bit of dementia and ‘hid the nice things from thieves’ so we had to be very careful to check every item thoroughly before tossing. We found so many things hidden in the oddest of places. My mother vowed not to leave that situation for me and she didn’t. She kept her house clutter free and tidy many years before her passing, and when the day came it was hard enough. It would have been so much worse had she not done this. This is one of the best things you can do for those you leave behind.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.With 5 kids gone, 4 empty bedrooms and 7 grandchildren I finally started to change to a grandma’s house. 3 upstairs bedrooms sleep them all with bunk beds and trundles. Now to make room for stuff geared to them. I also finally got my kitchen makeover. I had a lot of downsizing and cleaning out planned. My kids aren’t interested in Moms stuff like I was so most of it goes to donations. I’m still in the mist of it but I’m doing it. My mom always said she wanted us to have back to gifts we gave her because she felt we really loved them when we picked them out for her. So sweet. Unfortunately my sister did everything when my mom moved and than passed away. I was so surprised at what I found in the little box. Most I didn’t recognize and none of what I gave her. Plus my sister threw all the photos away. WHAT? I do genealogy. She knows that. Oh well… I do pack up and ship across country to a couple kids anything they want. I give it away now so I can see them enjoy it. I love to hear my daughter tell me she wore a ruby ring one day to give her strength. I had that ring since I was 8.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Interesting & timely post! I’ve been decluttering for years trying to get the house down to just the things we use. Some items I keep when I’m not sure, then get rid of the next year if it didn’t get used. I have no problem letting items go. My husband wants to keep everything. I’ve finally got him getting rid of stuff after telling him we’re going to have to go through our parent’s houses and get rid of everything when they’re gone & I wasn’t leaving our house like this for our kids to have to deal with so much stuff.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.One thing my grandma did was for family treasure like antiques she knew family wanted she put the person’s name on the back, bottom etc she wanted to have it. It help so much. I have a few pieces that date in thev19th century.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is such a wonderful article. I have started doing this for the simple reason that we have no kids, and I didn’t want to have anyone I left hate me – ha!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a beautiful, wonderful idea!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.The past few months I have been tackling the project of digitizing my old family photos. I started with my own albums, then moved on to my moms and my dads albums are next in line. It is a huge project, but instead of sending them off to a service to be done I have been using my phone. There is a great app – Google’s PhotoScan – that takes a series of “pictures” of your photo and compiles them together for clear, glare free results. Then you can save to your device and automatically back up to Google Photos. It has been a huge time saver and I feel good knowing my photos are all backed up somewhere safe. Also, once I have the entire family photo collection scanned and backed up, I plan on putting them all on thumb drives and giving one to each of my parents and one to my brother.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you Debbie ❤️
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My husband and I retired in early September and immediately left for a month in Finland and Spain where two of our children and grandkids live. While in Finland I also read an article on Swedish Death Cleaning. (Probably the same article as you read.) When we got home in late October my husband started on our sheds and yard. I started on our closets and bookcases. It was great! We’re still working on painting and repairing the house as we plan to sell it sometime next year, but the “death cleaning” is pretty much done… at least for now. At our family Thanksgiving gathering, I made a game of giving back almost all of our 6 children’s “treasures” they had given us growing up. They and the grandkids loved it! Thanks for the Amazon link. It made ordering the book so easy.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My grandmother lived to be 100, but for the last 30 years of her life, she kept a pile of small slips of paper, old business cards from my grandfather, and a roll of tape handy. Any time one of the children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren mentioned one of her possessions, she asked them if they would like to have it when she died. It was a matter of labeling those items with the intended recipient’s name for a later date. I knew for over 25 years that the piano would one day be mine! As she downsized (which she did 3 times before she died), those items that she wanted to take with her she did, and those that were labeled were sent to their new homes. Anything that was not labeled that she was ready to part with was up for grabs. If no one wanted it then, it went to charity. By the time of her actual death, “my” items from her home fit into a cardboard box in the back seat of my car. By labeling everything ahead of time, there was no arguing or debate over who was getting what, and everything went to those who truly had an interest in the item.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a wonderful story- so inspirational as well as practical, saves all those hassles and unpleasant arguments about who should have got what. Thanks for sharing!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.What a great idea!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.before my mother passed, she did the same thing except she put the recipient’s name on the back (inside) of the item as well as stipulating it in her living will. It made her passing a little bit easier on all of my siblings and myself as well. No one wants to lose a loved one, but time passes and someday our time will come too………….
Please log in or create a free account to comment.That is one of the best ways I’ve heard of to do that! That way there’s a lot less arguing over who gets what she you know the person is going to truly cherish what you give them!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Yes, in theory that works. Sometimes elder family members intercede and change recipients to suit themselves.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Fear not, as I have sweet memories. :)
I’ve been working on this for a while now (also updating wills etc, and this project seems to go better intertwined with the purging). It is amazing how much better I feel when a decision has been made to “let go” of something that no one else will treasure (or need). I come from a family (both maternal and paternal sides) that has always kept everything — either “we might really need it sometime” (great depression era thinking) or “it will always be a treasure for descendants”. Truth is, after about the 3rd or 4th generation the descendants never knew the original owners, so it means nothing — unless it is truly a valuable antique. As you might guess from above comments, I am “on the older side” (76), and wish I had learned these things earlier. I’m delighted to see the younger generations learning to “lighten the load” as they go along — however, it is important to truly evaluate items before discarding, and let the family have options in the process.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Haha, my son moved all his apartment stuff and worldly goods into storage and left the country for work elsewhere. Now comes covid and he’s staying put there. MY job is to now sort thru his stuff here. At least he is still alive so the task is not that painful.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This has been in the front of my mind for many years. I just did not have a name for it. After going through the death of my Dad, Mother and Father-in-law. And down sizing my M-I-L and us down sizing a house. I am OVER it all. I have three kids and asked them if there was somthing special they wanted and I would keep it. Other wize there is nothing that has a hold on things.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.We have a son who has autism and he really wants for nothing. A daughter who is far more of a collector and wants several peices. And a Son who is just starting out (age 24) and doesn’t want to talk about it.
In my minds eye it is all good. We have too much “stuff” any way… and the family doesn’t need it all none the less.. the important papers are rounded up and that is all good. It is important for all in volved.
After helping my friends deal with the “collectors ” in their lives, I too looked round to find a HUGE pile of stuff that I didn’t need or love anymore! Hey, tastes change! I have been trimming for the last year. Less to dust. and whats out, I love. Thank You Jillee for all of your wonderful posts!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I am so glad you shared this post! My sweet mother, who passed away in 2010, always used to say, “I am leaving all this for you to take care of.” Sigh…The burden fell upon my sweet son and me to take the emotional bumpy road. I will not have him go through that again! Weeding out as I go.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I’ve started doing this, but it’s not an easy thing to do – sentiment tends to get in the way!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a brilliant idea! I am having a very difficult time sorting through my mother’s things. She past away this year and loved life, people, family, and her causes. Thank you for showing me the way to start with my mission. I have been struck, mired in grief, and dreading this task. Now, I feel such relief about where to start for her and myself. Thank you!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thanks! And I will do this.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My grandmother asked us what we wanted, (her children and grandchildren) then either gave it to us or put our name on it if she wanted to keep it. A daughter in law gave her a decorated tree one Christmas, so grandma gave each of her grandchildren the decorations she had bought through school fund drives back to the one she bought them from. We then could choose from the older stuff. I have many “vintage” Christmas decorations, some with stories.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I started this at 50 three years ago! I had a couple of people pass and a couple that needed help packing for a move and I was floored by the amount of stuff we accumulate. And I didn’t want my family to go through that when I pass. Its actually been very empowering for me to take charge of everything in my own time :)
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I did this when I retired a few years ago. We moved to another state and downsized in property and house size. I continue to do it especially with clothes. I need to do it again in the spring when I can open the garage and get everything out and donate or give away. Photos I have just kept in photo boxes in bins…..too many, so I have been in the process of going thru 1 box at a time and keeping some photos, but contacting the people in the photos and seeing if they want them….a friend’s wedding from 25 years ago, just my photos not professional ones, of her parents who are no longer alive. I took way too many photos before digital!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a good system too for anyone with hobbies or collections of stuff. Keep what really interests you and sell, donate or give what you have thinned out.
Also leave instructions on that collection, especially if it is worth a lot, on who to contact if you want it sold, curated or whatever.
In a private railcar group we call it “What Your Heirs (pun intended) Need to Know!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Great tip – thanks Pamm!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.This is a brilliant idea!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Legacy Box is a company that will help transfer
old videos into dvd’s. I just did my 1st box.
Less Is More!
Thank you for this great information.
Kathleen
In my folks (I guess deposit box) I think they have instructions for stuff having to do with the house. I’ve told my mom at some point they may need to move to a smaller place without steps if her knees get bad. She also has done a good job of making photo albums for each kid and their family. Some of the stuff like old family history stuff and photos I’d love it if we could digitalize some of that stuff., Pctures of my folks and their families as kids. Also stuff like old pictures of my Grandparents it would just make me sick if we ever lost that type of stuff .
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you for such a gentle approach to a tough subject. I heartily agree with your reminder that it is a process. Like Anne Raymond, I recently moved my mom out of the family farmhouse (and barn!) It was a surprise move and would have been an extended nightmare if I hadn’t spent the past three years since Dad died downsizing all the closets and storage areas. And like Olga, it is never too soon to start. I turned 60 during the move and I don’t think I could have done it at 65. The “Throw Away After I Die” box is sheer genius — will make it so much easier for our loved ones!! Thanks again Jillee! I love your blog and learn so much from you!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I had to downsize and get rid of so many things that I liked because it didn’t fit in our smaller new home. I try to have this thought when going through things ” you enjoyed it, now move on!” Or, “if I haven’t used it in a year, I won’t miss it”. This helps!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you fora super post! I have been doing this for awhile,d/t the fact my dtr lives on the coast, and I am in the midwest. Easier for her when I am gone. Just want to say I love all your posts!!!!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thanks for sharing your tips! We had to do this recently for my dad. We first did it before mom passed away and then again when we had dad move closer to us.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.My sister and I do this frequently in our own homes, it feels good to free up space. Decluttered space means decluttered mind to us.
Sorry for the loss of your dad.
Thanks for addressing this topic. My sisters and I spent last winter clearing out the house we grew up in. A house my Mom was in for 58 years. It was a big old house and while she was neat, organized and not a hoarder it was full. Full of some things, like 30 boxes of books in the attic, that my parents had to have known they’d never use again. We finished up determined to turn our attention to our own homes. Sorry to say that only lasted a few weeks but we’ve been saying lately we need to get back to that. I think a system like this could help.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Good luck Anne!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Hello Jillee, I love your blog and look forward to it every day. I have needed to downsize for a while now and for some reason I keep putting it off. I has always seemed just too hard. I’ve worked so hard to get where I’m at, but your right I’m just passing the pain on to my family if I don’t purge. So, with this in mind I am going to be doing this in an ongoing manner. Thanks and keep up the good blog!!
Please log in or create a free account to comment.Thank you Kathylynn ☺️
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I really loved this entry. I read all your blogposts, some I keep bookmarked for re-reading and some I just go through once and never again, since not all applies to me and my lifestyle… But this is the first time I actually find that I have something to say.
Please log in or create a free account to comment.I didn’t know you could call it a “Swedish death cleaning” (even though I do live in Sweden! XD ) but I have found in recent years that my life gets easier if I follow these steps. :)
So I have been doing something like it since I turned 28 or so, and I am now 36. I only have things that I love, and try to keep the amount of items I own down to a minimum…
I will next try to apply this to the things I left behind when I moved to Sweden, and recruit some friends to go over my books and movies collection, since I already know I won’t be bringing ALL of it here. They can just as well get it now, instead of waiting until I am dead. :)
Thank you for your awesome ideas, and please keep them coming!